How To Procrastinate

Provisional timetables for exams came out earlier this week and with them a host of unwanted emotions. Panic, stress, despair, and the sudden realisation that you’re well and truly up against the creek without a paddle.
Some of you might be able to buckle down now, but for the vast majority of us, procrastination season is about to set in. Why prepare for an exam today when you can just put it off until tomorrow? Or the next day…or the next.

1. Stare at your book and have a little daydream

This one is a classic. You can do it anywhere: at home, at the library, in your friend’s gaff, the list goes on. This one is great for those of you who can’t handle the guilt of all this lazy business. I mean, you took out a book so at least you tried…right? The fact that you absorbed nothing and dreamed of being president of the world instead is irrelevant.

2. Watch some TV

Another tried and tested time wasting activity. For those of you running away from the inevitability of your workload, now is a great time to start a new series. How can you concentrate on readings when your favourite character is in a sticky sitch? Exactly. Netflix, please.

3. Make a list of the stuff you have to do

There’s probably a lot of stuff you should be doing at this time of the year. In fact, there’s probably a lot of stuff you haven’t been doing since the start of the year. Why not write it all down? Though you will be faced with the enormity of work you have to do, at least you’ll have written something down, and that feels productive enough.

4. Clean out your drawers

The key to good procrastination is to fill up your time with something else arguably productive. Everyone needs a clean workspace, how else are you supposed to study? Not only do you get to feel good about how you’re spending your time, this is also great because you will almost definitely find stuff. That top you thought your friend robbed, a sizable amount of 20c coins, and, if you’re really lucky, maybe even a cheeky note.

5. Sort out your notes

Being disorganised will always come back to bite you in the booty. All those times you scribbled notes onto a random refill pad, typed a few random words into notes on your phone, or nabbed a piece of paper off some lad in a lecture is coming back to haunt you now. Instead of doing the actual study, instead spend your time rewriting, colour coding, and summarising your dodgy notes. “I need clear notes to study” you’ll tell yourself. “I’m really not learning anything here”, you’ll know deep down.

6. Cook some food

Food is fuel for the brain they say and you’re gonna be needing all the fuel you can get. How could anyone expect you to study without a delicious, nutritious, home-cooked meal? Take some time out of your study to walk to Aldi, buy some ingredients, prepare your food, and whip up a smashing meal. Don’t forget to learn a recipe too!

Alternatively, you could just, you know, do your work.
The choice is up to you!