Six Types of UL Student

By Evie Kearney

1. The Lad

Exclusively wears skinny tracksuits and a county minor jersey (or a business class half zip when it’s cold). Often seen travelling in packs and talking about hot chicken rolls.

2. The Well-Travelled One

The person making a return to college after Erasmus. Constantly talking about how much better German trains are and their need to return to a place where everyone just ‘gets it’.

3. The First Year

Usually lost but pretends not to be. Overdresses for the first six weeks before slowly, very slowly, they become a normal student and show up to lectures in whatever is clean, or just doesn’t show up at all.

4. The Secondary School Student

Usually from ‘just over the road’. Technically a college student, but came to UL with all of their school friends who they will continue hanging out with for four years while clinging on to their immaturity. Mostly seen whistling at passers by or just generally looking pretty stupid.

5. The Busy One

A member of at least four societies, three clubs and student council. They also play a musical instrument, volunteer for everything, have a QCA of 4.0 but still always manage to make it to quiet pints in Stables. How? HOW?

6. The Special Snowflake

They probably have a ‘quirky’ hair colour, study Japanese because it’s a ‘quirky’ language and only go to nightclubs because it’s ironic, apparently. Oh, and they’re probably vegan too but you definitely already knew that.